Pre Marriage Counseling
If you are recently engaged, or are considering engagement, you may also want to consider the benefits of pre marriage counseling. While not required in most areas, this beneficial service can help you and your potential spouse recognize and work through areas of your relationship that could become problematic before they become actual problems. While many people are more than willing to turn a blind eye to some of their potential spouses traits prior to marriage, the astronomical divorce rate in the United States (upwards of 50% of all marriages will end in divorce, and the number gets higher every year), bears witness to the fact some of the things that many new couples find quirky or endearing about each other can turn into deal breakers years down the line. For this reason, pre marriage counseling has gained popularity in the recent years.
Some jurisdictions require couples to seek out pre marriage counseling before they are issued a marriage license, however, the vast majority do not. This being said, most people are well aware of the huge failure rate of marriages in our society. For this reason, many couples are opting for preemptive, pre marriage counseling. And these are not necessarily couples who feel as though they have ‘issues.’ In fact, most couples who electively seek out pre marriage counseling feel as though their relationship is strong, but are also realists who realize that there is a reason more marriages than not fail. And when you consider the fact that marriage is (or should be) the single biggest decision of your life, it stands to reason that if there are steps you can take to ensure the success of your marriage, they should be taken. And while pre marriage counseling cannot guarantee a successful marriage, it can go a long way in predicting whether or not you will have one. Additionally, you and your partner may discover over the course of your pre marriage counseling that you are not suited to be man and wife. While painful, it is generally far less so, when the relationship is dissolved prior to marriage.
While some people do not understand why any jurisdiction would mandate pre marriage counseling, the fact of the matter is that divorce is costly. And these costs are not always borne exclusively by the parties involved.
In many low-income cases, state governments offer subsidies to help pay for divorce. And in cases where children are involved, it is a well documented fact that children of divorce have a higher statistical probability of going on welfare, becoming criminals, or requiring government subsidized healthcare, housing, or food over the course of their lives than children of two-parent homes. For this reason, many governments feel as though they have a vested interest in the success of each individual marriage.
If you have considered pre marriage counseling, or if your jurisdiction requires it, the good news is that it doesn’t have to break the bank. Many areas offer free or low cost government pre marriage counseling services. Additionally, many church groups offer such counseling for free, and that counseling is generally performed by a high ranking member of the clergy. This can be a great option for people who want to incorporate their particular religious beliefs into the foundation of their marriage. Additionally, many group health insurance companies now cover counseling. Of course, it is always prudent to confirm the coverage of such services with your individual insurance provider.
The bottom line is that there is really no down side to pre marriage counseling. It can be an invaluable tool for determining the state of your relationship, and for predicting its success. Every couple has issues of some form or another. Taking a clear look at them is a great way to build a strong foundation for your marriage, especially in a time and culture in which over 50% of all marriages are doomed to end in divorce.
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